23rd April 2007
Hi all,
Had a pretty frustrating lunchtime last Friday. As I'd just got paid and had a pretty good morning I decided to make the most of the day and head to Subway for lunch.
It's no secret that I love Subway. From my first visits in the States in 1991, through to regional openings in the UK and now to the plethora of stores everywhere, they are what I would call a treat. And they're generally pretty healthy as well. That's just a bonus.
Since 1991 holidays to Florida have led me back to the same branch of Subway in Clearwater Beach. In fact I've even said that I could go to Subway every lunchtime for two weeks and not eat the same thing twice. There's that much variety. However, when I'm at home visits tend to be weekly rather than daily.
I can't afford to go to Subway every day for lunch. Well, I might just be able to, but being the son of a former building society manager makes you thrifty in some ways. However as I'd had a good morning why not have a Tuna sub for lunch? Seemed like a great idea.
Well, until I got into the queue. To be fair the Subway nearest to my work is pretty efficient, and works through queues pleasantly and speedily. What they can't control is that some customers are dolts (I'll say it for the staff there, because there's no way they would ever say it). When a customer begins their interaction with a member of staff by looking at the bread and asking, "Which one's brown?" you just know you're going to be waiting a while.
Obviously this Subway rookie could not be in the queue by herself. Nope, she's got her pal with her as well, and you can just tell they've never been to Subway before, have no idea what to do, and fully expect their sandwiches to be brought to their table by a schoolgirl with an accompanying pot of tea when their number is called. "That's mine hen!"
Once this lady had figured out what she was having she ordered it and then tried to pass a ten pound note over to the sandwich artist she had been speaking to. Obviously she hadn't paid the first bit of attention to where other customers were paying, or the fact that she had walked past the till on the way in.
Somewhat amazingly, the guy behind the counter (sorry, as much as I love Subway the term "Sandwich Artist" is somewhat ridiculous) kept his composure, wasn't rude to the clueless customer or laughing at her. He just did his job. "Would you like salad with that?" he asked. "Can I get salad with that?" was the seemingly-amazed and ridiculous reply. I don't hesitate to call that ridiculous either, given that a) He asked if she would like salad, and b) All the salad was right under her eyes, had she bothered to look. It's not there for decoration!
And was that even the end of it? I wish. Although she appeared to negotiate the sauces and payment adequately she managed to reappear and interrupt my attempt to pay. Obviously that would be fine if I was the sort of person who would cheekily say, "I gave you a tenner," to a harassed/confused employee but I'm not (thanks once again Mum for bringing me up to have a conscience). No, Mrs "Which one is brown?"/"Can I get salad with that?" now wanted to know where she could get milk for her coffee. Erm, that'll be in the same place where all the other condiments are, which she would have seen had she bothered to open her eyes (by the way she didn't have a white stick, although I did check for one).
Just for once I didn't bother sitting down with my sub. Even with the risk of ignorant interruption in the office I decided to take my chances and return there, rather than taking a seat and possibly shaking my head off my neck after witnessing this lady being any more stupid. How complicated can ordering lunch really be?
In my mind Subway provides great food at a reasonable price, made freshly and quickly. However they need some way of filtering first-time visitors and idiots out of the queue. A "First time visitor?" guide sheet might be the way to help new customers, and this revolutionary technique might be a way to get rid of the idiots: a one for the price of two voucher.
Now which bread is brown again? (I can get salad with that? You're kidding!)
Have a good week!
Tony
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