Once again Neil Taylor has taken the reigns this week, responding to last week's criticisms of the new Ford Mondeo...
Dear Mr Editor,
I wish to raise issue of your "Bizarre Thought For the Week" dated 30th July 2001.
Your comments on the wonderful Ford Mondeo car are fully and wholly unjustified. I feel that this car has the best curves and structure of any modern car, and that your insinuation that "it has angles that remind you of a tank" is frankly ridiculous.
As for the "C Pillar induced blind spot" - what's all that about then? Is this some kind of New Labour Spin, or maybe something Mr Mandelson and Blair take to induce spin? (TD - I never said that Neil's e-mail made sense, did I?)
As for the steering wheel I have to admit to being a bit of a Rover man myself, and much prefer the more slender and popular "Big Black Buttock", as described by Jeremy Clarkson & Co.
"Alongside this is a very smooth gearstick with a plastic bit which moves up and down at your discretion." (Pining for the Fords - what kind of talk is that? This Parrot is demised - oh sorry wrong complaint!)
As for your problems getting the car to go backwards - I can imagine at the time that was quite amusing!! HA HA......
"Very nice, especially if you use the controls on the steering wheel to prevent the musical dictator in the passenger seat from running the show" - I think your tone is quite harsh here and anyway, it is the passenger's right to change tracks - has no one told you its dangerous to change tracks while driving (or do you think you're indestructable?)? Besides, what's wrong with Spandau Ballet? (TD - nothing, I don't believe I said that, did I? Incidentally, I think people now know it was Neil himself who was the musical dictator in the passenger seat.) Turn up the music I can't hear it!....
"The car moves quite nicely, and does have a bit of oomph" - slow down you maniac, you're driving too fast!
"Also easily hold a passenger who chooses to tie their shoelaces in odd places" - does this imply that for a Stag weekend prank someone actually did this to you?? (Um....that would have been rather funny :-) )
(TD - for the record it was Patrick who actually discovered that he could comfortably sit in the boot, and there is a blurry photo somewhere to prove it. I only used the boot for regular purposes.)
Anyway I better go - I need to go and get some new chairs down the local Homebase - well you see my chairs are all worn....
"Gold - always believe in your soul..."
And as Spandau Ballet themselves might once have said...
Have a good week!