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Sunday 18th April, 2021

Bizarre Thought for the Week, w/c 30th July 2001
Tony Dobson

Hi all,
Having just returned from my Stag Weekend I feel I shouldn't bore you with details of the weekend in full (you can read that in the features section on the web site if you wish to do that), but instead I will offer a short review of the new Ford Mondeo, the car we rented for the weekend.

The most noticeable thing about the new Mondeo is just how boxy it is. Upon sitting in the driver's seat you feel noticeably aware of how large it is, and how it has angles which remind you of a tank. You also feel in quite a high seated position, and if you combine that with the C Pillar* induced blind spot (which is only marginally smaller than the blind spot Tony Blair has for Peter Mandelson) then you could easily convince yourself you are in a tank.

(* I had to find out what this particular section was by searching all over the internet. Impressive, huh? Thanks to Richie G for providing me with the answer.)

But enough of the negatives, and onto the positives. Do you hate cars which have a large grey slab in the middle of the steering wheel for your airbag/horn? Don't worry, the new Ford Mondeo has a large black slab! Hard and plasticcy, but at least it has four rather cool metallic rods into the actual steering wheel itself. Alongside this is a very smooth gearstick with a plastic bit which moves up and down at your discretion. Of course no-one at the rental company tells you that it actually plays a significant role in getting the car into reverse gear. You need to find this out for yourself (either that or look like a complete idiot while saying, "Well I don't know how to get it into reverse...").

The new Mondeo that I drove had a CD player. Very nice, especially if you use the controls on the steering wheel to prevent the musical dictator in the passenger seat from running the show (as they like to do). However unfortunately they have yet to find a CD player which can also play tapes. This is of course a shame if you and your party have put one or two (or even nine) tapes together between you.

The car moves quite nicely, and does have a bit of oomph (as opposed to cars which don't move, and therefore only go at 0mph). It also has a significantly large boot, capable of carrying several bags and also easily hold a passenger who chooses to tie their shoelaces in odd places.

So all in all it isn't bad, but it is also far from ideal and not a car I'll be buying in the immediate future (he says like he can just swan into a Jaguar showroom and pay for a new car in cash!).

Have a good week!

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