Well unfortunately the world (cough, America, Britain and Iraq) is now at war. As we all know, the first casualty of war is the truth. The second casualty of war appears to be good taste.
Coming to this realisation does not make me any wiser. In fact it is more likely to be incriminating rather than anything else. How many people have I seen in the past week making reference to the B52 bombers, and following it with a line like, "I got me a car, it's as big as a whale and it's about to set sail."
And what is my thoughtful response? "I got me a Chrysler, it seats about twenty, so hurry up and bring your jukebox money!" It can't be helped, not when so many people seem to be resorting to this kind of humour as a method of coping with what's going on. By the way, has anyone researched what happens to the B52s record sales during wars? I'm sure just simple word association must do wonders for their back catalogue.
And don't ask how many desks I've passed at work where people have watched video footage of B52s taking off, while those users on the Sky News website have been quietly saying, "Bang, bang, bang, on the door baby..." (I can't hear you!).
Furthermore, what can you say about the footage of American forces saying things like "It's hammer time!" Honestly, it is just laughable. Don't they think that this kind of thing gets shown on news shows around the world, leading to people spending slow Friday afternoons at work saying "It's hammer time!" and humming "You Can't Touch This"? (By the way, I haven't been humming it, just in case you were wondering. However I am really enjoying the renaissance of an early 90s icon.)
It is interesting to see that the American Secret Services have already suggested that Saddam Hussein is dead, only to have him pop up on television days (or in some cases, hours) later. Yep, he's dead alright, just like Osama Bin Laden is dead. I can't help but think about Robin Williams' jokes in "Good Morning Vietnam" about military intelligence. Do the people making the big decisions in these organisations think people are stupid? And they wonder why no-one believes that they weren't involved in JFK's assassination.
With all the war stories filling the media at the moment other newsworthy items are being neglected. Mind you, that might not be a bad thing. Did you hear Kerry Katona admit that she never sang on an Atomic Kitten record as her voice was so bad, but then confirm that it was her who performed the spoken section of "Whole Again". I'm sorry, is this story really a big deal? Is it that new an idea? Didn't TLC always do that with Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes?
Katona is apparently from Warrington. Mind you, given that she's admitted to being a lap dancer, not being good enough to sing in Atomic Kitten and is also married to a ponce from Westlife, is it any big surprise that residents of her hometown are happy to run with the misconception that most people thinks she's actually from Liverpool?
Have a good week!