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Sunday 18th April, 2021

Bizarre Thought for the Week, w/c 24th September 2001
Author:
Tony Dobson

Hi all,
There are times when you struggle to think of something humourous to pass onto people. Being honest, at the moment humour still seems a little bit out of place just a few weeks after the most infamous public tragedy of my lifetime.

With that in mind I feel that a recap over the last few weeks is somewhat more appropriate. Hopefully some of these incidents will raise a light smile, if nothing else.

* Night before the wedding. Lorraine has her hair in rollers, and a hood up on a dry night so no-one could see her.

* Getting back from dropping Lorraine off the night before the wedding, then staying up until 2.30am with Mark (my usher) and Neil (my best man) to watch the American version of "The Weakest Link" on BBC Choice. High comedy.

(Two points of note - 1) Yes, Lorraine and I saw each other the night before the wedding. 2) Yes, I've got Sky Digital now. Very cool.)

* Mark roaming my house on the morning of the wedding, taking photos with a disposable camera that Neil and I would have preferred him not to.

* Neil mumbling various sounds of distress when trying his kilt on at the hire shop.

* Mark putting his kilt on in calm silence, and almost getting his first attempt at putting a kilt on a perfect one. Slight problem with a slit up the right leg though - "I look like Nicole Kidman at the 'Moulin Rouge' premiere" was Mark's commentary on the matter.

* About twenty minutes before the wedding, Neil starts to panic about what exactly he should do with the rings.

* Tickling the back of Neil's knee, just before he started his speech.

* Referring to the Poveys and Neil's parents as "the trouble-makers on table nine" (just kidding, but they did look like they were up to mischief).

* Certain old friends of mine making friends with Diane Morton at the reception (you can keep those stories to yourself if you would be so kind, Mrs Morton).

* A few Englishmen making fools of themselves, dancing around in their kilts (cough, no further comment, cough).

And on the Florida side of things...

* Wishing I'd taken my Spanish phrase book with me for everyday use in Miami.

* Finding out (to my pleasant surprise) that The Cheesecake Factory don't just sell cheesecakes. Mmm, Teriyaki Chicken...

* Wondering how to get to a cafe on the other side of a waterway in Key Largo, and then finding out it was about a minute's looping drive away.

* Driving down to Key West one night, and driving back up the road in a deluge. Seven mile bridges - you can keep them, thanks!

* Driving up the coast into the Clearwater/St. Petersburg area. Gigantic uphill bridges are not funny. Sunshine Skyway - you can keep it, thanks!

* Breakfast by the water in Naples. Class.

* A rat on a crazy golf course in Clearwater. Ssh - don't tell the Mrs!

Have a good week!
Tony

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